Camo was at the neighbors the other day when he suffered yet another tragedy, it's time to take things into my own hands.... here is the letter sent to the neighbors...
08/2008
Poor Ole’ Boys District Attorney’s Office
Floydada, Texas 79235
Dear Glenn and Sandra,
You have been sued. My Client Camden Blake Johnston has suffered a tragedy at your expense. The actions by you (the defendant) have caused my client to suffer what is called a “medial cranial hemorrhage” or more commonly known as a “pop-knot dead center of his head”. Said Client however, has chosen to accept a plea bargain. Due to the recommendation of the Director of Child Protective Services for the Steen Addition (Mrs. RaNay Johnston) my Client has accepted the following terms. In the account that the plea agreement is not met you will be placed on “neighborhood probation” until these terms are met. 1.) You must provide at a minimum of one small sized zip-lock baggie of fruit loops upon your next “parentally supervised visit”. 2) You must also provide the same sized zip-lock baggie of whatever flavor graham crackers you buy, that he won’t eat over here. 3.) You must provide at my client’s request a 6oz. Styrofoam cup of pure Floydada City Water at your expense. 4.) My Client (Camden Blake Johnston) must have access to full restroom facilities including the usage of your toothbrush to freshen his breath while playing at your home. If these requests are not met, my Client (Camden Blake Johnston) will no longer be allowed to (a.) write all over your sidewalk with sidewalk chalk provided by the District Attorney’s Office. (b.) my client will also no longer be able to move his parents sprinkler to your yard when you think they aren’t looking. And, (c.) Said Client will no longer be able to relieve himself between the houses when “HE” thinks no one is looking. With the terms of this plea agreement lined out you have 10 days from today to accept or decline this agreement.
Corey Johnston
District Attorney
Poor Ole’ Boys District Attorney’s Office
Floydada Texas
RaNay Johnston M.O.T.L.F.C.N (Mom’s on the lookout for Crazy Neighbors)
Diretor of Neighborhood Operations
Floydada Texas
p.s. if you feel that you have received this letter by accident please call 983-6011 and no one will be there to take your call. Thank you in advance and have a good day!
08/2008
t.i.r.d.m.a.t. (these initials really don’t mean a thing)
2 comments:
THAT IS SO FUNNY!!! I KNOW WHO TO CALL IF I NEED AN ATTORNEY---HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE EXTRAVAGANT FEES!!!
DEDRA
well we have a motto at the Poor Ole Boys District Attorney's office. "Corn Dogs Ain't Cheap!" We take cash, credit cards,graham crackers,and Nepalese rupee and "elvis" shaped toast! Thank ya, Thank ya very much!
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